KIM GOLDEN

If celebs can quietly do their thing, so can I.

In case you missed it, I released a new book. Well, actually, I re-released a book that I tweaked a bit.

Shouldn’t you be marketing this?

I know, I should have made more of a hullabaloo about it, but I was busy with my nine-to-five and some extra projects there. Plus, I have been trying to use any free time to finish another writing project. Yes, I have something else up my sleeve. I’ll tell you about it soon. So, for now, I am taking a cue from all the celebs who “quietly” do things.

So what’s it about?

Their marriage was supposed to be fake… until it wasn’t.

Tilda needs a husband – fast. Her dream job at the Jessamine Hale Academy for Girls comes with one unexpected condition: all staff must be married. And somehow, she missed that tiny, life-altering detail.

Luckily, she has a plan – convincing her housemate Gus, a charming Danish pastry chef who runs the cozy café Hygge Time, to be her husband. Yes, a fake marriage. Quick, simple, no strings attached.

But when nosy parents and neighbors, a jealous ex, and very real feelings enter the mix, their carefully crafted rules start to crumble.

Because somewhere between “I do” and “we shouldn’t,” Tilda starts to wonder if their pretend marriage might just be the real deal.

Does it sound like your cup of tea?

It’s officially a year since I left Sweden for what would be the last time I spent with my mom. It hit me harder than I expected.

Leaving on an airplane

On October 25, 2023, I left Malmö, Sweden at an ungodly hour to take the train to Kastrup Airport in Copenhagen, Denmark. My husband and I walked to Hyllie Station on what was a very chilly and foggy morning so that I would make it in time to catch flight BA811 from Copenhagen to London, where I’d connect a few hours later with AA 729 to Philadelphia.

It was not a vacation.

I was on my way to Philadelphia to spend what would be the last time I would spend with my mom before she became non-responsive and later died of lung and brain cancer.

An adult orphan

No one prepares you for what it feels like to be an adult orphan. Both my parents and both sets of grandparents are gone. I stay in touch my relatives in the US. It’s not the same as the weekend phone calls I had with my mom. My mom and I had our private jokes, our shared love of Christmas movies, our banter back-and-forth…and how we’d tease each other.

Sundays aren’t the same without her.

I had a good long cry

I’m not someone who cries easily. Maybe this is because of my dad. He always told me only weak people cry, so I’ve tried never to cry, never to show any weakness.

I don’t always succeed.

And that’s okay.

I know now that it’s okay to let those feelings own their space. I think of when my brother died. My mom called me and told me what happened… I didn’t care that I was sitting in a busy café in Stockholm. I cried. My brother and I had a special relationship. I still miss him. It’s the same with my mom.

The last few days, I have been dreaming about her. My dad, my great aunts Frances and Julia, my brother Sean, my father-in-law Leffe and brother-in-law Fred, my uncle Russell and my great uncles Paul and Buggy, my maternal grandparents… they’ve all been popping up in my dreams lately.

Mostly, they’re telling me they’re all okay. Sometimes, like in a recent dream about my mom, they’re telling me to do something I need to do to unstick myself.

Sometimes they just tell me they love me.

Writing a letter to my mom

Kadi, my grief counselor via BetterHelp, often recommends writing a letter to loved ones who’ve passed away. Not to send but to get what’s on my mind out into the world.

I will write my letter to my mom tonight.

It will say all the things she already knew when she was still with us – that I love her, that I liked making her laugh, that I appreciate all the life lessons she gave me and the stories she shared with me.

It’s that time again – when the Nobel prize laureates are announced. Today, the Swedish Academy announced this year’s literature laureate: South Korean author, Han Kang.

https://www.youtube.com/live/OnwYMuLL2E0?si=ygqQOBHSUtvqPGUW

Congratulations to Han Kang – Nobel Laureate in Literature for 2024

Discover her work

Besides the titles I’ve mentioned above, Han Kang has also authored several others that could be of interest to you lovely readers. If you’re lucky enough to be fluent in Korean, here’s a list of her books, which was provided by the Nobel Prize website:

• 여수의 사랑. – 서울 : 문학과지성사, 1995  [“Love of Yeosu”. Short stories.]
• 검은 사슴. – 경기도 파주시 : 문학 동네, 1998  [“Black Deer”. Novel.]
• 아기 부처. – 인천 : 개미, 1999  [“Baby Buddha”. Novella.]
• 내 여자의 열매. – 서울 : 창작 과 비평사, 2000  [“Fruits of My Woman”. Short stories.]
• 그대의 차가운 손. – 서울 : 문학과지성사, 2002  [“Your Cold Hands”. Novel.]
• 내 이름은 태양꽃 / 한강 동화 ; 김세현 그림. – 경기도 파주시 : 문학 동네, 2002  [“My Name is Sun Flower” / Han Kang, fairy tale ; Kim Se-Hyeon, picture, 2002. Novella.]
• 붉은 꽃 이야기 / 지은이: 한강 ; 그린이: 우승우. – 서울 : 열림원, 2003  [“The Story of the Red Flower” / author: Han Kang ; illustrator: Woo Seung-woo. Novella.]
• 사랑과, 사랑을 둘러싼 것들. – 서울 : 열림원, 2003  [“Love and Things Surrounding Love”. Essays.]
•  가만가만 부르는 노래. – 서울 : 비채, 2007  [“Quietly Sung Songs”. Essays.]
• 천둥 꼬마 선녀 번개 꼬마 선녀 / 한강 글; 진선미 그림. – 경기도 파주시 : 문학 동네, 2007  [“Thunder Little Fairy Lightning Little Fairy” / written by Han Kang ; Jin Seon-mi, picture. Children’s book.]
• 채식주의자. – 경기도 파주시 : 창비, 2007  [The Vegetarian. Novel.]
• 눈물상자 / 한강 글 ; 봄로야 그림. – 경기도 파주시 : 문학 동네, 2008  [“Tear Basket” / written by Han Kang ; Bomroya, picture. Short stories.]
• 바람이 분다, 가라. – 서울 : 문학 과 지성사, 2010  [“The Wind Blows, Go”. Novel.]
• 희랍어 시간. – 경기도 파주시 : 문학 동네, 2011  [Greek Lessons. Novel.]
• 노랑무늬영원. – 서울 : 문학 과 지성사, 2012  [“Fire Salamander”. Short stories.]
• 서랍 에 저녁 을 넣어 두었다. – 서울 : 문학 과 지성사, 2013  [“I Put The Evening in the Drawer”. Poetry.]
• 회복 하는 인간 / 지은이 한 강 ; 옮긴이 전 승희 = Convalescence / written by Han Kang ; translated by Jeon Seung-hee. – 서울 : 아시아, 2013  [Bilingual edition. Novella.]
• 소년이 온다. – 경기도 파주시 : 창비, 2014  [Human Acts. Novel.]
• 흰. – 경기도 파주시 : 문학 동네, 2016  [The White Book. Novel.]
• 작별하지 않는다. – 경기도 파주시 : 문학 동네, 2021  [“We do not part”. Novel.]
• 한 강. – 경기도 파주시 : 문학 동네, 2022  [“Han Kang”. Series: The Essential. Collection.]

On the same page, you can find information about films based on her work, as well as which titles have been translated to Swedish, French, English and German.

Let’s talk about one of her books

Have you read any of her work? Drop me a line and let me know! And if anyone wants to read and discuss her work, I’m planning on reading Greek Lessons first. I’d love to do a Google Meet and discuss it together.

A little inspiration

How can it already be September?

Is it really September 5th? It feels like it’s too soon to actually be September, but it is. Here in Malmö the weather, at least until the sunset, still feels like summer. But when you look up at the sky, the blue isn’t as intense as it was just a few weeks ago and the clouds look like autumn clouds.

Time flies…

So it’s been nine months since I lost my mom, and her loss still feels pretty fresh for me. The only difference is that I’ve been learning to deal with it. Grief counseling has helped so much. So has setting boundaries.

I’ve been very open about what I dealt with in the months between finding out my mother’s cancer had returned and her demise.

Not everyone appreciates it.

And you know what?

So fucking what. I own what happened to me.

NOT them.

I know my experience. And I am overcoming it. It’s taken a while but I also know that sending any anger and resentment down the river is what’s best for me.

And if they don’t like it?

I don’t care.

What I have done

I took some steps to get me to a good place. It really took a while to get there.

So what did I do?

• Block phone numbers and social media of toxic people
• Stay focused on journaling
• Remind myself every single day that I don’t need the acceptance of toxic people
• Remember my mom’s last words to me when we could still have private conversations
• Go on the trip my mom and I planned, even if my mom can’t be with me – at least it feels like she is beside me

So what’s next?

I’m moving on, doing things my way. I just had a phone call with my mom’s brother and his wife. They reminded me to stay focused on what was good for me and the Swede. They said it was what my mom would want. And they’re right.

If I think of one of the last private conversations I had with my mom before she was no longer lucid, she told me she wanted the Swede and me to be happy, to focus on our life together and to NOT let negative forces affect us.

So that’s what we’re going to do.

Keep moving forward.

Let the negative particles do their own crazy BS.

We will stay focused on the two of *us*.